Why does society not cherish our elders more.

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Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by tracyp on Sat Feb 07, 2015 8:39 am

Kindness & caring is the root of life.

My neighbour (John, with little Jess, you may remember.) His daughter Tracey died many yrs ago. My father (Joachim, John in english) also died many yrs ago.  Not only do I see him as I did my father ...the man is also full of wisdom, knowledge, experience & exceptional kindness to all that DON'T take him to be a fool.

He is a wonderful & generous man who will do anything to help his decent fellow human.
You may remember my disgust at another neighbour taking my wood that fell from my gum.

John loaded, carried, cut, chopped & brought wood to me to replace what was taken when he had NO responsibility to do so.

But it's all karma. If you also remember ( I'm actually not sure I posted that. But he loved it.) when I had so many eggs I couldn't use, the dogs got treats & I took him a quiche.

Anyway... I took his buckets/barrows back to him. We decided to go for a doggie walk tonight on the spare of the moment as its still 30c bit little jess hadnt been out this morn when it was cool. Just around our area so we were close to water.

What a wonderful walk & talk, sharing thoughts, opinions, me learning as I listened to his life & experiences.

I don't think I remember a better, more informative,  more enjoyable walk ever! Even after loosing birbie today he said, ( in short) those that come to us, be they big or small, happy or sad, for good or bad, in sickness or need, those that seem too strong for us, or too weak to handle... they all teach, we learn & make us who we are & how we feel.

That was this arvo. The same if not 10xs applies to my 97 yr gran.
Our elderly have more time in my life than I could ever express.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Caryll on Sat Feb 07, 2015 8:47 am

The elderly aren't cherished as much as they used to be, but certainly in this area, many of the elderly are miserable, cantankerous old bu**ers who think all young people are thieves and muggers!

On my walks with Dempsey I see several elderly people. Some are sweet & interesting but others are rude and unfriendly.

If they want respect and friendship then they have to earn it.

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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Eleanor on Sat Feb 07, 2015 9:50 am

He sounds like a lovely man.

I automatically have respect for my elder. However, that respect can be lost fairly easily, depending on what sort of person they are.

Where we used to live, we had an elderly neighbour who was, quite frankly, a pain in the arse. He was constantly getting involved in his neighbours' business, interfering where he shouldn't and spreading gossip. He and my parents didn't get along, although mum was civil with him until a particularly nasty incident which involved Dempsey. Right from when I was a very young child, he would try to communicate with my parents through me, getting me to pass on messages for some argument or another.

Although I lost a lot of respect for him as I got older, I also felt very sorry for him. For a while after the Dempsey incident, I was very short with him and didn't want to speak to him at all, but I couldn't really stay angry. He lived alone after his wife died and, in hindsight, I don't think he really meant any harm.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Shisa on Sat Feb 07, 2015 10:45 am

It definitely depends on the person.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Hayley on Sat Feb 07, 2015 11:10 am

I love old people. I will sit and talk to old people over people my own age any day!
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by ella on Tue Feb 10, 2015 9:13 pm

Caryll wrote:The elderly aren't cherished as much as they used to be, but certainly in this area, many of the elderly are miserable, cantankerous old bu**ers who think all young people are thieves and muggers!

This absolutely many of the ones I see at work are the most miserable unappreciative people you will ever meet.

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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Caryll on Wed Feb 11, 2015 4:23 am

The elderly have a lot to offer, there's no doubt about that. I love listening to stories about 'the old days', some of them quite sad but most very interesting, funny & useful!

But the elderly need to realise that it isn't the fault of the young that they have aged, and not all young people are feckless wasters out to take the micky or rob them blind.

I speak to a lot of older people through work, and most are sweet, appreciative and good to talk to, but some are just plain nasty. If someone is a miserable young git, they're unlikely to age into anything other than a miserable old git.

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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by LyndaW on Wed Feb 11, 2015 8:30 pm

"If someone is a miserable young git, they're unlikely to age into anything other than a miserable old git."

This is so true, Caryll.

But also, increasing infirmity and pain can cause even the most mild-mannered person to become crotchety. And the easiest thing in the world is to blame someone else for your troubles, no matter how unfair that is.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by tracyp on Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:56 am

My step gran (a pom who came on the ships with her kids during the war to aust while her hubby fought in the war not knowing if she'd ever see him again.) She was the most grumpy, cranky, cantankerous,  everyone else is to blame old woman I have ever met. She and her hubby had a bed & breakfast in cornwall. Where my step dad grew up.

As a child of 10? I spent hrs selecting, just the right bar of soap for her. My gift was met with.... why do you give me soap? Do you think I'm not clean? No! I thought it smelled pretty! I never gave her my time after that!

My grans were both beautiful, interested in life, where they could go & see, where we could meet for a snack, what we were up to, & both got into things they probably shouldnt have at their age.

Even my grumpy step gran had knowledge for me to learn from.

My point is our elders have knowledge we should draw from. Even the grumpy ones know something you don't.  It's just harder to dig out the info.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Caryll on Thu Feb 12, 2015 5:57 am

I agree that some of them have a lot to pass on to us, but knowledge is no good unless you have the means to pass it on! Grumpy, cantankerous old gits can't pass it on because they don't think you have the right to hear it!

Both my grandmothers were wonderful (I never knew my grandfathers as both died before I was born), in different ways. My mum's mum was plump & soft & sweet & a joy to just sit and be with, so easy to get on with. My dad's mum was thin & sharp, but not unkind or unfriendly; she said what she meant and meant what she said! But she was always approachable if you did it the right way.

Many elderly people nowadays seem to think that the world owes them a living & that they should be looked after and respected as a matter of course. Yes, they're due care and comfort in their old age, especially if they have worked hard all their lives with little to show for it. But respect and companionship depend on how they react to those who are trying to help them. I know they may have aches and pains; I know they may be tired and disillusioned. But rudeness is not the way to react to younger people. That, I'm afraid, is a lot of the trouble in my area.

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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Eleanor on Thu Feb 12, 2015 8:01 am

I'm open to knowledge, but I don't believe that human error and bias disappear with age. There's a fifty-year-old lady on my course (she insists that she's old, though I constantly disagree), who I will sit and listen to for hours at a time. She's one of the lovely, kindest, motherly (aside from my mum happy ) people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. She has a hell of a lot of life experience; in my opinion, more so than most elderly people I've met.

On the other hand, there's also an elderly man doing a similar course to me. He's very friendly in conversation, but not somebody I would particularly want to learn from. His opinions are often quite biased and very old-fashioned when it comes to matters such as race, sexual orientation, religion, etc..

I do acknowledge that elders have seen more of life than I have. However, there are some very important things, in my opinion, in life that aren't limited or determined by age.

I also believe that respect goes both ways, and that it shouldn't be something that is granted for elders, but not for younger generations. I don't know if anybody else here has this problem, but I frequently find myself in arguments with elderly people, who assume that I'm some sort of thug due to my age.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was on a bus, sitting a couple of rows back from the front with no other passengers. An elderly lady boarded the bus and demanded that I give up my seat for her, despite the fact that I had deliberately refrained from sitting in the priority seats for the elderly at the front of the bus. When I asked why she wanted me to give up that particular seat, when there was empty ones all around her, she became very abusive and attempted to persuade the driver to kick me off of the bus.

That's why I neither entirely agree nor entirely disagree with respecting elders. Although I do respect my elders by default, I try to extend that to every person I meet, regardless of age.
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by LyndaW on Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:32 pm

Some people, young or old, are just looking for a fight I'm afraid!
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Re: Why does society not cherish our elders more.

Post by Eleanor on Thu Feb 12, 2015 7:48 pm

Sadly. sad
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