Jokes needed

Last Xmas I decided to write and produce an adult pantomime for my local boozer. It was 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves'. It went down a treat, we sold more tickets than the place has ever sold and all of the cast (local drinkers) want to be in the next one. The audience loved it.

This Xmas it is going to be 'Little Red Riding Hood'. I have started to write it already. Last year I decided on the idea to write it, and wrote it within 2 weeks before it went out. Then, I decided that the next one (next Xmas's one) I would start writing months before. So I've started it today.

Last year I asked the forum I was on (Staffiesrus) to give me any good (rude) jokes they had that I could incorporate into the panto and a couple of people really got into it and gave me some great ones (are you there Brin?)

Anyway, do you have any good dirty jokes I can use? They don't have to be anything to do with Little Red Riding Hood as I can adapt them. Many thanks x

Thinking cap on....I'll get back to you!

I only know one Red Riding one and it's not very good!

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest, on the way to her Grandmother's house, when she saw a wolf hiding in the grass nearby.

"What big ears you have," she said.

"The better to hear you with," he replied before he ran off.

A little while later, Red Riding Hood saw him again, this time hiding behind a tree, and said, "What big eyes you have!"

"The better to see you with," the wolf replied before he ran off.

So Little Red Riding Hood continued on her way. Then once again she saw him hiding, this time behind a rock.

"What big teeth you have!" she said.

The wolf replied, "For God's sake, will you leave me alone? I'm trying to take a dump!"

Thanks Eleanor.

I know a few but am drawing a complete blank now ... I'll post as they pop into my head.

Thanks Theresa