Got some awful news this arvo.

My owner neighbour who rents his house out next door came over today. (The guy you may remember that cut the all the trees.) He is due to subdivide & build in a week or two. Totally irrelevant now.

His partner has had cancer, but... she made it through after both radiation & chemotherapy.    But she has not been hearing well for quite sometime. They have done IVF numerous times without success which the drs felt was from her treatment. She wasn't feeling well for many months & couldnt hear if someone spoke to her from behind without touching her to attract her attention.
She never complained but, it is really hard for her now.

She is only 33, & She has been diagnosed with two brain tumors a couple of days ago. Both are in or near her ear canals.  One is directly affecting her brain stem. Which is about 2.5cm. She will, without doubt, be deaf shortly. If they are operable she will loose both ear canals, if they are not, there is no hope for recovery.  She has about 15% hearing at the moment. This is not going to be a good outcome! Either way!

She wants no one in her house, NO VISITORS, not even her mum. But I so want to take her a casserole, muffins, maybe some pasta? I don't know? whatever... maybe some fresh bread & soup? I'm happy to wash her floor if that's what she needs? But I really want to take her a hug!

If something doesn't feel right.... Don't think it will just go away! I urge everyone to go to the doctors!!!!!!

This just shows that sometimes we bitch and complain but there are people with really serious problems.
I think it would be lovely for you to send her something nice but just give her, her space. To come through all that and have more life altering news... that's going to take some coping with.
I know from a friend of mine with breast cancer; she didn't want hugs and sympathy but normality. She wanted to be treated like a normal person not a someone suffering from a disease.

Poor woman! I hope she and her husband are coping as well as they can in the situation.

They split after her cancer & IVF failure but they still lived together, about 5 house blocks away. He gave her the house & was going to subdived & build a unit next door to be close to her but not in the house as was her wish. Now he won't leave her for fear.

My aunt & her son both died from brain tumors. It is not easy to watch or deal with.

We all do complain about ridiculous things that seem important at the time, & they are! But this puts all things into perspective.

Shisa wrote:This just shows that sometimes we bitch and complain but there are people with really serious problems.
I think it would be lovely for you to send her something nice but just give her, her space. To come through all that and have more life altering news... that's going to take some coping with.
I know from a friend of mine with breast cancer; she didn't want hugs and sympathy but normality. She wanted to be treated like a normal person not a someone suffering from a disease.

I think a food basket would be a great idea. Cooking is not want she'll be feeling like doing, But I still want to hug her! I wouldn't want sympathy either, though that doesn't stop me wanting to empathize with her or mop her floor, or clean her shower or toilet. Maybe a pedicure? You understand what I mean. I will give her all the space she needs just as I would want but that doesn't stop me wanting to help her.

I know. You just want to wrap them in cotton wool.
A food basket with all sorts of scrumptiousness in would be excellent.

Poor woman. The food basket sounds like a great idea

That is so sad.

A friend of mine and his wife went on their first holiday for ten years five weeks ago. He started to feel unwell, and he was rushed to hospital as it was thought he'd had a stroke. Turns out that was a brain tumour. He's been in hospital in Chile for three weeks, and has just returned to Scotland for treatment - he has his operation tomorrow - he's in his early 50's, and is a workaholic. They do not know what the outcome of the operation will be until he has it, and pathology results will take a further two weeks to determine malignancy or otherwise.

I feel so helpless as I'm many hundreds of miles from him - so I can appreciate how you're feeling, and would like to send you a cyber hug too.

Lorraine, I read your post when you sent it but I was chocked up. I couldnt reply. It has taken me a few days to clear the lump in my throat & reply. I'm sorry!

How is your friend doing?

I'm sorry Tracy, I didn't mean to do that. He had his operation on Friday, and the tumour was removed. He's had a couple of rough days, but has been allowed home yesterday. They are awaiting results of pathology to know what the next steps are.

Did you take your neighbour a parcel? Do you know how she is?

Lorraine wrote:I'm sorry Tracy, I didn't mean to do that.  He had his operation on Friday, and the tumour was removed.  He's had a couple of rough days, but has been allowed home yesterday.  They are awaiting results of pathology to know what the next steps are.

Did you take your neighbour a parcel?  Do you know how she is?

No need to say sorry, i think we both understand this the emotions with this condition.  It trully is a day by day propersittion.

Going home is a great indication for him.  that is wonderful to hear. Fingers crossed he will not have to go back to hospital,  only checkups.  I hope he has a good prognosis.  

I have not taken a parcel to her yet. She is standing firm... NO VISITORS! I feel she needs her own time to come to grips with the diagnosis. I will respect that. But I'm thinking I will just leave it on her doorstep with a note or give it to her OH to take home? & pray she will accept it.

She wants to see no one & a gift could be seen as charity or pity which she would not like no matter the best intentions.

All you can do is to be there for her when she asks. I'm sure she is scared, and feeling quite overwhelmed.

Let me know how the pathology goes. My OH is over 50, I feel for her... I would die if I lost him.
My friend will never ask for help, nor accept it willingly... but...Yes, you are exactly right, that's why I want to take her a hug.

Tracy, have you tried just popping a card or short letter through her door, just saying you understand that she wants to be alone at this time, but that if she ever needs anything at all you are only a phone call away? (Or words to that effect).

I have thought of that Lynda, but I know she will not call for help no matter what.
For now I am just keeping up to date via her hubby.

She sounds severely depressed, and no wonder.

I hope her doctors/nurses are aware of her state of mind. Sometimes people do shut themselves off in a state of denial, for whatever circumstances - if she knows that you are there for her that is all you can do.

I know it's difficult ................ to you both

I think you are spot on. This one has hit her hard. I think she is running on the theory of, if I act normally & try to ignore it, it will be ok.

But this time it will not be ok.

Her hubby knows I am here, only a stones throw away & if she rejects everyone for much longer I will just go to her front door.

My friend told us about his results today. He had a high grade gliosarcoma - prognosis 1-2 years max. Those who believe, please pray for Pete and his wife Lisa.

How awful!

I'll keep them both in my thoughts and prayers!

Oh heck - life is so cruel sometimes. Bless them both

I am so sorry to hear this. I will put them both in my prayer tonight.

Thanks all - it's a bit hard to take in at the moment.

I will light some candles for them today.